Messes Only a Mother Can Clean Up

This morning I was in the bathroom for literally 3 minutes doing my morning ablutions, when I hear Lil Red yelling for me. I let him know I was in the bathroom and he came padding in from the living room where he had been playing. I smelled him immediately! I lifted him under his arms to stand on the counter and asked if he had been worried that I'd left him. That's when I noticed the poo poo stains on his socks. I said, "uh oh, do we need to go change you diaper?". "poo poo", he says. So I carry him against my chest instead of wrapping his legs around me, so that he doesn't get it on me and pick up the diaper and wipes. I lay him down to do the change when I realize that he has poop on his jammy shirt. I think he must have put his finger in a couple of times to experiment b/c it was diarrhea and wiped it on his socks and top. EEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW YUCK! So I changed the diaper and just as I was finishing I realized that my top had poop on it from having him against me and a strong whiff of the diaper hit me. I was up and at the sink heaving for 3 minutes! Poor Lil Red was clinging to my knee worried about me. So I got control, got rid of the diaper and dirty clothes, changed my top and washed his hands THOROUGHLY! Now 10 minutes later he smells good and is snuggling me and watching Lil Bill while I type. I love my Lil Hooligan! I just hope his next investigation isn't so nasty :)