Sunday, September 4, 2011
Sharing A Slice of Life: Beautiful Me
So my sister's prompt this week is to write what is good and wonderful about ourselves for family history. I hate this, why is it so hard to think of unshallow stuff when put on the spot. So I asked my teenagers what was great about Mom to get me started. Never ask two teenage boys a question like that, lol. "Well Mom, your nice and kind." Geez! Could you be more specific?!? Arghhhhh!
But I am nice and kind. I love looking for ways to show random kindnesses, to find ways to sustain my fellow church leaders, to look for ways to express my love to those close to me. I was thinking about people that start malicious gossip or do things to intentionally hurt others, and I just don't get it. I think there is only one person that I ever prayed that God would curse them and it was a mean bill collector that was super ugly to me and I was pregnant and hormonal, that's my excuse ;)
I'm also very forgiving. I think I've been very blessed to be able to learn how to let go of hurt feelings, to try and see the other side of things, and even when I don't receive the apology that I know I deserve (wink wink), with a little prayer and a bit of a struggle I can look at it eternally and forgive and move on.
I'm a very positive person. Some might accuse me of being Pollyanna. And I don't have a problem with that. Even Pollyanna had her moment of clouds but for the most part she radiated sunshine. That's me, I hate seeing somebody down and will quickly look for ways to uplift. I have developed a great appreciation for nature. I don't think I always noticed anything beyond the sky till these past years with my new husband. Except maybe bodies of water. But now I notice the green of the grass, the trees rustling in the breeze. The dust devils being kicked up by the wind, the way the mocking bird imitates walkers' cell phones ;)
I have always loved jewelry but have just begun to enjoy learning the ability to create beautiful pieces to give as gifts or to uplift myself. I love matching the different colored beads and textures to create an original unique piece. I keep a clean house. My husband might argue that point at times, lol. But I've been in and out of many houses and apartments of Mom's with young kids, and whatever he says, I know that I keep a very clean house :p
I am not afraid of sharing my testimony. I struggle with knowing how to share the gospel in a way that will move beyond planting seeds, but I keep trying. Which I guess leads me to one of my best assets. I do not know the meaning of giving up. It has been my saving grace. I have made many mistakes and had to make many painful decisions in my life. I know some might say that I quit on my first marriage, but they couldn't be more wrong. I never stopped hoping that my ex would turn his life around. I may have been angry at him multiple times and had many stretching and growing moments in learning how to communicate better with him to enable better relations. We now have a tenative friendship. My husband and I have served him and he has served us. We have had forgiving conversations and I have hopes that one day for the sake of our boys and his happiness that he will come more fully into the gospel. But my decision to leave him was for my safety and was a difficult decision. It was not because I quit. Otherwise I would have no real communication or relation with him now. I know my ability to not give up comes from a strong testimony of my Father in Heaven's love for me. From my desire to show my love to the Savior for all that he sacrificed for me. Knowing that I am a divine daughter of my Heavenly Father has given me much strength in my life even when I haven't felt worthy of such an appointment because it didn't matter whether or not I was worthy. It's just a fact. God doesn't disown us when we make a mistake, he reaches out to us to help us dust ourselves off and to do better and that's what I've become very good at :)
"picture from pixeljoint.com"