Sunday, January 4, 2009

Thoughts of my Dad

My Dad died on December 22. I had been packing things that morning for our Christmas away from home, and so that I could go visit him for awhile with John before we left to go to Dallas. My brother called right as I was leaving to tell me that he had passed. I will miss my Daddy till we meet again in Heaven. And yes even though when I spoke about him to other people, he was Dad, in my mind he was always Daddy. I loved that I got to work with him for 3 and a half years while I was a single Mom. He was my #1 cheerleader during that time. As I struggled through the dating scene and one relationship would end, he would give me blessings and grieve with me that I was having so much trouble finding that someone that I could share an eternal love with. I remember after one particularly hard break up, he invited me to come sit on his lap and he just held me like when I was a little girl and let me cry. Good thing I was little then, lol, right now with having my baby weight I might not have fit! He often shared how hard similar trials had been in his life to help me remember that time passes and with it changes come and pain passes with it to make room for the joys of tomorrow. He taught me a great work ethic and I know he was proud of me. He believed in me and often showed his faith in me by investing in my future. He co-signed for me so I could buy my first car, during my divorce. He gave me the down payment on my home. It was 5 thousand dollars. For my Dad this was alot of money. I know he and my mom had plans for that money, but he gave it to me so that I could be out of apartments with my two boys and have a stable place with some room to live. He forgot later that he loaned me that money, but I never did. I am thankful that with the help of my husband I was able to repay the loan before he died that it might benefit him and my mother. He also had an answer for every question that I ever asked. It might not be the right answer, but he gave me one never the less. LOL. I remember the night I found out that he didn't always know the answers to my questions. I had asked him what a particular tower was for. He said it was a cell phone tower and proceeded to explain how it worked in detail. I said, "wow, really?". He laughed and said, "I don't know. How am I supposed to know?". Turns out though, he was right! That was something that went on my list to look for in a husband. Someone who had all the answers, even if he just made up something for me :)
My Dad was also so good with us kids when we were little. I remember being swung around as an airplane in circles. It contributed to my love for dancing. I love being swung around in circles and feeling as though I'm flying. He also let us ride on his back as he pretended to be a big bear, and I loved doing superman and being tickled by him. He was also a great teacher. Everything he learned that he knew to have value he turned around and taught. He wanted to make sure that economically each child's family had two skills that they could use to fall back on if one thing wasn't viable for a time. He taught me to tell the difference between dreams in which my mind was just working through things and dreams that were communications from my Father in Heaven. He also taught me that I do have a Heavenly Mother that loves me just as much as my Father in Heaven. I think the most important thing he taught me along with my mother is to never give up. To never stop trying. It has helped me to overcome many trials in my life. My Dad was not just a good man. He was a GREAT man. And we love him very much for it. I loved at the funeral that it was prayed for his children to be able to keep the commandments that we might share in that eternal reward with my Dad. So now I have two fathers that I want to show my love for by keeping the commandments and giving honor to their names.
The pictures below aren't many and many of them are fairly recent but most of my pictures are hard copies only and I haven't had time to scan them. But these have significance to me. Thank you Mom or whoever for uploading the two old ones up on the family site. The first is my Dad and my uncle who are twins. My Dad is the one looking askance at the camera. The second is my Dad in uniform. He was drafted for vietnam, and while he was never sent over, still had many stories of his experiences while in training. It is easy to see from this picture why my Mom fell for him. The next two are at a pool party for Isaac. This was the year before he found out he had cancer. We looked at these pics later and I teased him that he had looked like Boss Hog. He took the teasing well, lol. The next pictures are from my wedding to Douglas. I was so blessed to have my Dad alive and well enough to walk me down the aisle and to dance with me. I am so glad that he lived to see me married to a wonderful man that is very much like my Dad in many ways. He knew that I was happy that I was on my way to my own eternal family and that was very important to me. Infact the picture, heading my blog is he and I dancing. It was funny because even though he taught me to waltz, he'd forgotten how to do it. And I never knew what step he was doing so consequently I kept tripping on my dress. So one of my brides maids came and held up my train so that I could dance easier with my Dad. My sister-in-law, who was playing the piano didn't know how many verses to play and so she played three. Dad and I were dying by the end. We kept laughing about how we would have to strangle her later. But we never did, she is way to cool to strangle :)
The next picture in the slide show is of Mom and Dad and John and I (I was taking the pic) at one of Dad's favorite chinese places. This is a big memory for me. Lunches with my Dad. I loved going to lunch with my Dad. We would talk about so many things. It was wonderful to have a Dad that was never at a loss for words. The last two were of him at Father's Day this past year. We went out to eat with him, my Mother and Grandmother. He loved his Mom so much. I'm glad he got to spend extra time with her with the advent of me moving closer to her. I have to say in ending that his love for my Mom was inspiring as I searched for that special someone that would stick with me through hard times and that would cherish me for the person I am. Thank you Dad for helping me to be the person I am today and for always inspiring me to better heights.


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Little Miss Sunshine said...

Okay that is so wrong and insensitive! I will never use their services seeing that they stuck a sales pitch onto what was a memorial to my DAD!

hummer said...

You go girl...i am right there with you...will never use them...opportunist!